Zombies, Run!

zombieAnd by that I mean this is my review of the running app by the same name. Arguably, there are no real zombies, and the real zombies about which one could argue are not things one needs to run from.

I’ve only played one chapter of the app so far, but the prognosis is good.

For me, the main appeal of Zombies, Run is its combination of two of my recently-discovered interests: fitness, and zombies. Needless to say, if you don’t like either of those things, you won’t like this app. However, if you like fitness, but don’t like zombies, it could be a really great motivator. It stands to reason that people who are most afraid of zombies will run faster to get away from them.

Or rip out their earbuds and throw their phone away.

Regardless, its main function is motivation, and it works quite well. Scenes from the story are played to you like a radio show or audio book. You hear a scene, run for a bit to your own iTunes music (if you so choose), then hear the next scene, and so on, automatically collecting items along the way.

You can also turn on zombie attack mode, which increases interactivity, so that when the zombies in the story are chasing you, you will hear them and be told how close they are to you. If they catch you, you lose items. Some of which are really important to the story.

Now, this is motivating, but I found it somewhat less motivating than I thought it would be. Partly because I’m already quite familiar with the fictional undead. I’m just not that afraid of them anymore.

I mean, fine, running away from a horde of zombies makes sense. If you’re alone, trying to fight that many will just waste ammunition. But a one zombie, even one that’s “right behind you” isn’t that big of a deal. In a zombie apocalypse, that’s called a Tuesday.

You just turn around, wait until it gets within point-blank range, and then shoot it. Problem solved. Even the comic relief can do that.

But in this app, the solution is to “run faster.” Why don’t I get a gun? Other people get guns.

I don’t get a gun because it’s a running app, that’s why. Next time, I’ll have to save some energy for sprinting, and get in the mindset of someone in the zombie apocalypse who inexplicably doesn’t have a gun, or a knife, or a club, or a chainsaw, or a rock, or any other available object that could serve such a purpose.

Which is unlikely, in the zombie apocalypse. Or anywhere else for that matter.

I mean really, how hard is it to find a rock with which to smash a zombie’s head? I would prefer a gun, personally, but rocks work. I’ve seen it done dozens of times at least.

Still, it’s a very good app. It’s extremely customizable. You can use your own music, and even pick the specific iTunes playlist you want to use (*gasp* I must now make a zombie playlist!) You can tell it to track your speed and distance using your phone’s GPS for outdoor runs or using the step-counter for treadmills. Which I really like since the treadmill option fits better into my schedule.

But I do like running outside. Running outside is great. The scenery changes, there’s up and down, you can run around corners. Running downhill around corners is really fun. Even jump over park benches if you get adventurous (I didn’t do that.) Plus, you get to show off your snazzy new lululemon running tights, should you own such a thing.

And let’s get real, the point of owning excessively-expensive, nice-looking running tights is so that other people can see you looking all athletic in those running tights. In exercise, it’s all about motivation.

For example, according to my phone I walk about 4 km a day, what with walking to work and going for walks (my personal euphemism for playing Pokemon Go) during my lunch break. Today I logged almost 12 km. Taking into account the walking I did today, I would estimate my workout was responsible for 8 km of that. My usual treadmill workout is more like 3 km.

That’s not quite as impressive as it sounds, though. I alternate between walking and running, but that’s still pretty good.

Which reminds me, you can link the zombie app with the health app on your phone so you track stuff like that. Pretty cool, huh?

In summary, if you own an iPhone and even marginally like running or zombies, give it a try. Get in shape the fun way! By running away from zombies.

Oh yeah, and it’s free. That’s the best part. I like free.

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